“F” is for Flamingos and Fear

Good Monday morning Travellers,

This Monday finds me abit weary in the world, how about you? My business is being audited, which actually isn’t as nerve wracking for me as it seems to be for other people. I tend to believe if you run an honest business, auditing is just a formality which at it’s worst finds minor errors that can be corrected.

If only I handled the rest of my life with such rational ease…

BUT it’s Monday and we are here for a reprieve of typical Monday feelings, are we not? We are here to stretch our imaginations which is pleasurable endeavor is it not? And if this is your first Monday here, please refer to the post “A” is for Alien to fully grasp what’s going on…or any of the other letter posts…

As a kid, I am pretty sure “F” would have become a flamingo named Fiona. The top flat piece of the letter would be her under belly, as she would be standing. The long leg of the “F” would be the single supporting leg, while the smallest perpendicular line would be the lower part of her second leg and I would have added a triangular shape on the front side, so the flamingo legs looked liked a slightly oblong number 4. And on that lifted bent leg, her webbed foot would have a slight point to it. Like a graceful ballet dancer. If you close your eyes and walk thru what I just described you can see it abit better.

Fiona would be a ballet dancer, because, Hello, pink and long legs and her fluffy plumage is very tutu like. She would insist “Swan Lake” be renamed “Flamingo Pond” before she would dance for her audiences around the world. As a child, I would have imagined she required my help putting on her ballet shoes because she would have no hands to do so herself. There would of course be other flamingos in the chorus line, but Fiona would be the virtuoso. And dancing would give her great joy in her life.

I don’t even think there would need to be an adventure this time because I find the series of images in my mind of her dancing about to be so soothing to my soul. Maybe there would be a back story about how she learned that she could dance? I always liked flamingos as a kid, there were a few in the rain forest at my local zoo and they always seemed mysteriously stoic. I also wondered if the “Flamenco” form of dance was originated by Flamingoes, because as a kid that kind of thing made word sense to my child logic. Let it be said that Fiona would have also been an amazing flamenco dancer.

As an adult, I look at the letter “F” and right now, think of FEAR…

Okay, I also think of THIS SONG and the greatest word ever, Fuckery. Also an “F” word, an offspring of THE “F” word. Amy Winehouse sang, it and I’ve loved to using the phrase, “What kind of fuckery is this?” ever since I heard it. And it’s probably the true sentiment of Monday for most people. If we are being honest, but we’re working on imaginative Mondays so back to that…

I’ve been struggling this weekend with Fear and different parts of my life. It’s funny because I can be a serious worrier about things that COULD happen, and I realized this morning that worrying is literally the needle to the balloon of bravery. You can’t be brave if all you do is worry about what might happen now can you?

First, I thought about turning the “F” into an old school antenna. You remember the wirey ones that would be on people’s roofs to receive tv channels? If you are really young you’ll need to Google this, because there was once a world with no Netflix or cable believe it or not. I was really young when cable started, I remember HBO being a part of my childhood movie viewing, but many people didn’t have cable so they had antennas. This however would not be an antenna for television but an antenna to contact people you’ve lost in life.

Specifically, I was thinking how much I wish my Grandma Max was here right now to soothe my soul, or at least to tell me things will work out. She is the best part of me and I miss her quite often. I would give anything to talk to her now. When I was young she was my rock in the storm of my parents marriage. She was always outwardly the calmest person I’ve ever known.

I was thinking what I would really like to ask now as an adult is how she and my grandfather weathered his illness so bravely. Talk about fear, real deep down in your bones paralyzing fear because his MS began in WWII and the medical community had no idea what the disease was and they both had to have felt fear. I never caught a whiff of it growing up, but then again I wasn’t looking for it. I think about how their life was really one of survival because each day there would have been no way to know what would happen next. I always just remember them together.

I realized that my idea didn’t feel very original, it’s very Sixth Sense or like that movie Frequency , so I came up with an alternate idea to soothe my fears, are you ready?

Feline Fear Therapy. As I’ve said before I’m a dog person who met one pussy cat and changed my life view on felines. I would offer either a practical model of this device or a more catlike version depending on what you’re more comfortable with. The length of the letter would be the spine in the cat version and the cat would be lying in a side reclining posture, so we would make the other two flanks of the “F” into legs, which the top would appear shorter since again, lying on it’s side. Or it can look more modern abstract if you like, because the power of the device is not the appearance but the purr. Though I think a cat like appearance may make more sense to our visual mind.


Cats have actually been studied in terms of health benefits to humans and it’s believed they are more therapeutic than dogs. I KNOW. How can that be? The super power of purr. Not only does purring make the cats themselves calmer, it has a healing effect on their bodies. It actually makes their bones stronger from the internal reverberations. Yes, I am serious, look it up. It’s an odd benefit that the dog people are missing out on.

Except now I have Charlie, who is a snuggly purrer and this morning as I was lying in bed he was right next to me purring. In those moments, I felt calmer than I had most of my weekend. My device would have to have many years of research to authentically replicate the purr to avoid just being a giant vibrator in a cat suit. Because purring seems to be more than a vibration. I think it’s one of the great mysteries of our universe.

Until said device arrives, my Monday advice, if you have a having a rough day, go find a nice purring cat to cuddle up to, I swear it makes all the difference…


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