Buenas Dias Travellers,
Let’s just start with this amazing song I found last night on YouTube, love Lewis Capaldi’s voice, just yea…let’s start there, I just felt like wow, that is an unflinchingly honest break up song…and not sad either, just honest…I think we short change endings to stories that we perceive as unhappy. I think necessary endings have a merit of their own…a sort of full circle completeness if you will…no one said every journey’s end would arrive with a smile on it’s face. And that’s alright…
I’ve been thinking a lot this morning about a struggle I think we all have, finding time AND the enthusiasm/focus to do all the things we need to do to grow a human life. And then do that successfully every day. EVERY. DAY.
I think that we all have different things that are easy to commit to, like for me, working out and eating well every day, not a struggle. Going to therapy, committing to that work, not a struggle. Getting my studying done to get to a career change, every day, have not succeeded yet. Not because I don’t want to, but yet I don’t do it…what is that?
I’ve been thinking about my last post, about struggle being the meaning of life, which I’m gonna stand by because I’m pretty sure if you hold that up to the light, in full illumination, it remains true. And it’s not a right or wrong truth, like one answer, which I’m not sure really exists, right or wrong answers, it’s a layered multitude answer which I think works.
I mean just think about all the things we struggle to do every day or how we survive our days. Survival is such a multifaceted concept because we each have different ideas of what it means in addition to just the basic staying alive concept. I bet each of us could easily compose a thousand word essay on what we struggle with, and many would be unique to that individual, but then there are some really big common ground struggles that we all have to face and conquer, and doing it all or rather finding a way to do it all is I think a pretty big one. And doing it consistently.
What do I mean? Let me use my life as an illustration, I have my house and ginormous yard to take care of, which right now is overrun with leaves that have slipped off my oak trees branches like children tearing off all their clothes upon discovering the wonder of nudity. Just leaves, everywhere.
I have a business to run, which is a full time gig. I have four furry souls to care for which is more than just feeding and watering and letting them outdoors. They need attention and playtime as well. I think they need to be hugged and have me stare into their eyes as much as I need them to do the same for me. We reassure each other that life is good.
I have my working out, meal prep and eating, therapy appointments, and sleepy time, which I’m going to I’m going to talk about tomorrow AND I’m trying to find time to study AND come here to write every morning AND entertain the possibility of another endeavor with my brother from another mother.
They say the key is to not be overwhelmed, AND I know people sometimes say anyone trying to get it all done is doing too much, but this is the only time I’m gonna live this particular life. Even if we get to come back again in terms of a reincarnation type situation, we never get the same life again, do we? I’m pretty sure that answer is no, so don’t we need to exhaust ourselves in this one life? And I can tell you that right now I’m operating at about an 85% capacity of my abilities and I’m struggling to commit to that full 100% AND I’m wondering if anyone really gets to a sustainable 100% on a daily basis…not because we shouldn’t try but gosh, life is just busy as f*ck and yea, this is my main struggle today…
I think I’m going to have to create a schedule, like a written schedule for my days…every day.
I was thinking about the phrase, “Getting your ducks in a row” and how that applies to really getting all the shit done everyday that you want to get done. Organization can be very helpful if you commit to it, otherwise it’s just one more thing to do isn’t it?? Because creating a schedule ALSO takes time…
Then while making my bed, my mind took to an odd tangent with regards to ducks and how there really isn’t a remaining row of ducklings after awhile. I mean in terms of species propagation, ducklings have shit odds of survival. A lady duck wil have 10-12 ducklings and usually only 2-3 survive, not great odds. And don’t even get me started on duck sex. Witnessing duck copulation scarred me for life. In a cemetery no less, they should just call it fowl rape. Ugh…
But what I was really thinking is how linear the survival rates with ducklings are to our chances of consistently lining all the things and getting them done. If you organize 12 things you need to get done, will you get them accomplished or will a few die off? Those items are the stray ducklings or the ducklings eaten by predators AKA our laziness or lack of focus…see what I mean?? Can anyone keep 12 ducklings alive and in check every day. EVERY. DAMN. DAY. ??
How much can we get done everyday AND how consistent can we remain not only in our diligence BUT in a having a splendiferous attitude about it all…If you’re out there in the world operating at the 100% mark everyday damn day, please share with the group how that happens…because just like wanting all the 12 ducklings to survive, I want to do it all…don’t you? Isn’t that a struggle worth fighting through?
Oh and there’s always the overachiever, this duck has 76 ducklings…good grief, how does she do it? Now THAT is a woman with a great schedule, am I right?